Where's Bill and Lola?
Click on the link below and watch NCGCR's traveling ambassadors, President Lola and Bill Bailey on The TODAY Show!
MSNBC Video (Click Here!)
Sometimes grandparents are a bit shy about speaking in public or speaking to legislators. Or they might not know how to organize into a group, or how to hold a rally, or where to find answers to questions concerning their grandchildren. For the last two years, Lola Bailey, the president of the National Committee of Grandparents for Children's Rights, and her husband Bill, have been traveling around the country speaking to grandprents and enabling them to advocate for the children in their care.
They are travelling in a motor home and have our logo in the back of the motor home as well as in the back of the jeep they are pulling. If you see them, honk. They will stop and provide you with a free copy of the GRAND magazine. The only national magazine for grandparents, about grandparents and by grandparents. Look for Lola and Bill on your highway.
Grandparents on a Mission: Friendly Couple Travels The Country as Champions Of Grandparents' Rights
 Bill Bailey, 69, of Friendly, drives his 2005 Gulfstream motor home while his four-legged friend, Buffy, keeps him company. Bailey and his wife Lola, 66, are on the road 90 percent of the year advocating for the rights of grandparents. |
By: BETSY BETHEL - Boomers & Beyond Editor
Lola and Bill Bailey of Friendly were hands-on grandparents since the day their daughter brought her newborns home from Sistersville hospital.
The couple raised their grandson and granddaughter while their daughter went to college in Morgantown. They didn't like it when their daughter and the kids, then ages 7 and 5, moved out to live with the kids' father down state, but for two years they still saw their grandchildren frequently. Then during one visit, they noticed bruises on their grandson's neck and confronted his father. He responded by cutting off their visits.
In fact, the Baileys didn't see their granddaughter and grandson again for seven years, when their daughter, a victim of domestic abuse, finally took the kids and got out.
The Baileys' experience led them to become advocates for grandparents' rights in the state of West Virginia. They founded Grandchildren/Grandparents Inc. of West Virginia. They were instrumental in getting the first grandparent visitation law passed in West Virginia in 1992, which allowed grandparents to petition a court for visitation after a child's death or divorce, if they could prove it was in the best interest of the child. They've also worked on federal legislation that required other states to recognize grandparents' rights if proven in their home state. Since 2002, they have been on the board of the National Committee of Grandparents for Children's Rights. Lola Bailey, 66, is the president; her husband, who is 69, is on the advisory board.
Ninety percent of the time, you won't find the Baileys at home. They spend most of their time on the road in the RV - the windows of which are emblazoned with information about the committee - traveling to various states to help set up grandparenting support groups and train people in legal issues and how to talk to legislators about their cause.
"We have a motor home, a 2005 Gulfstream. WWe have put over 25,000 miles - almost 30,000 miles - on it since we got it," Lola Bailey said.
Everywhere they stop, they give out copies of GRAND magazine, the magazine of the National Committee of Grandparents for Children's Rights.
"It's not just for grandparents raising grandchildren; it's for the modern grandparent," she said.
"We work in each state to help create support groups and help them create laws in their states and understand what's available to them through the system. Believe it or not, it's really important for people to understand they are not alone," she said.
Nationwide, 4.5 million children are being raised by their grandparents, according to the 2000 U.S. Census. Bailey said current figures are 6 million. That number is remarkable, Bailey noted, considering there are only 500,000 children in formal foster care in the country.
In West Virginia, the U.S. Census found about 24,000 children living in grandparent-headed households. Lola Bailey said the state has the highest poverty level - 60 percent - among grandparent-headed households. Nationwide, 19 percent of grandparents raising grandchildren are in poverty.
"When you consider that many grandparents are living on a fixed income, that limits their ability to go out and get a job and help support their grandchildren. ... Eighty percent of these grandparents don't have legal custody or guardianship of the children, and unless they have legal guardianship, the resources available from the state and federal governments is very limited."
Getting legal custody, however, requires hiring a lawyer and going to court, a process that can be costly.
Further, grandparents without custody tend to keep the matter quiet for fear that if the state finds out, they will lose their children to the foster care system. Also without legal custody by the grandparent, the parent - who in the majority of the cases has a drug addiction or has been incarcerated - can take the child away at any time.
Lola Bailey said one of her goals is to work with the state Supreme Court to advocate for relative caregivers to be able to petition the court for guardianship without having to have a lawyer or go through a major court procedure. She is hoping the court will allow people like herself to apply directly to the court on behalf of families in order to eliminate a lot of expense, red tape and, ultimately, heartache.
"This would protect the child and create a permanency for the child," Bailey said.
Even without custody, in West Virginia grandparents can apply for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families for the child only, and they also can acquire a medical card for the child. But grandparents with custody would receive additional money and would avoid running into hassles when it comes to authorizing medical procedures, for instance.
Allison Nichols, director of the West Virginia Relatives as Parents program, recommended that even if parents don't want the grandparents to have custody, the parents should at least put something in writing and have it notarized so the grandparents can authorize medical treatment and school decisions for the child.
Currently, the Baileys are leys are camped at Falling Waters, W.Va., in the Eastern Panhandle, which makes it convenient for Lola Bailey to travel by train from Martinsburg into Washington, D.C., where once or twice a week she meets on Capitol Hill with legislators to educate them on the problems of relative caregivers. She works closely with the Children's Defense Fund and she and Bill also are involved with a large grandparents support group in Martinsburg.
The Baileys moved to West Virginia in 1973, when Bill was transferred by W.T. Grant Co., which subsequently went bankrupt in 1978. He then worked until he retired in 1999 for Union Carbide in Sistersville. Their son and daughter both graduated from Magnolia High School.
The Baileys now get to see and talk to all their grandchildren on a regular basis. Their son lives in Washington state, where he is a commander in the Navy and has five children, ages 1 to 15.
Now a single mom, their daughter now lives in Charleston, where she is going back to college to become a nurse practitioner. Their granddaughter and grandson are now 20 and 17, respectively.
"They're both doing great," Lola Bailey said. Her grandson is working and going to college. Her granddaughter spent the summer with her grandparents and wants to be a registered nurse.
"When she was here with me this summer, she talked to many legislators in D.C. about the experiences she suffered. She told me when I get too old to do this, she's going to take over my job," Lola Bailey said.
Their work is done strictly on a volunteer basis, Lola Bailey said; they don't even get reimbursed for gasoline. But she said they made their decision years ago to fight for the sake of their grandchildren and others like them.
"When our grandchildren were taken from us, we went to our attorney, Gary Rymer from Middlebourne. ... He said you have two choices, you can forget you have these two grandchildren and daughter, or you can work to change the system. We chose to work to change the system."
Although their work didn't help them specifically because they were able to see their grandchildren when their daughter cut ties with the kids' father, the Baileys continue to advocate for others.
Lola Bailey also tells grandparents to watch out for signs of abuse, speaking from personal experience.
"It doesn't matter what economic level you are. And it doesn't matter if the violence is directed at the child or their parent. The damage is done to the child. The most important thing to know if you have a child in a situation like this is be there for them."
www.news-register.net - October Boomers & Beyond
http://www.news-register.net/viss/story/index.cfm?UID=36&SSID=455